hyatt regency miami

Past Its Prime: The Hyatt Regency Miami's Midlife Crisis

The Bed: Sleep Is a Three-Star Affair

With linens, mattresses, and pillows each clocking in at a solid (yet unremarkable) 60%, the bed in room 2221 was the epitome of "meh." It won't cradle you into blissful dreams, but it also won't leave you awake all night plotting its demise. A bed for the truly indifferent sleeper.

The Room: Where Style Goes to Die

The room scored a disappointing 47.6%, and frankly, it earned every bit of that mediocrity. The layout felt more like a Tetris game gone wrong, the outlets were as scarce as enthusiasm at a tax seminar, and the noise level was a roaring reminder of the city outside. The view managed a 60%, but even that felt like it was squinting at past grandeur. Room style? Imagine 1980s chic that hasn’t aged like fine wine—more like milk.

The Bathroom: The One Bright Spot

At a respectable 60%, the bathroom was surprisingly decent. Cleanliness was consistent, towels did their job without complaint, and the water pressure and temperature were reliable (hooray for not freezing in the shower!). If only the rest of the room could take notes.

The Hotel: Beauty Faded with Time

The hotel overall scored a middle-of-the-road 57%, but this old dog is in desperate need of some new tricks. The lobby's vibe was a mashup of retro and resigned, while amenities left much to be desired. The location and business amenities were bright spots, each pulling a 4-star equivalent (80%), but even they couldn’t distract from the Hyatt's overall air of tired resignation.